How To Not Lose Yourself In New Relationship

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 • Category

by Astrid Engels

You probably know someone like this. They have a rising career, terrific friends, tons of hobbies; everything that makes life complete, with one exception. Then comes the frosting on the cake of life. They sign up for internet dating and meet “the one” complete with kisses, butterflies and complete chemistry.

A few months later, these two are a couple. A happy pair cocooned in wrappings of romantic bliss. Unfortunately, their friends aren’t receiving very little face time, their career is getting less attention, and hobbieswhat are they??

One of the paramount goals of any conscious dater is to seek out the type of partner and relationship that will enable us to not only be happily in love but to also retain our sense of independence. We want to share our lives, not surrender them. But how do we accomplish this? Lets break it down.

When we’re dating someone new, everything is wonderful, especially that “feeling”. You know the one; it’s amazing! You’re connected to someone. For most new couples, that “feeling” is best realized when they’re alone, without outside interference.

Dont get me wrong, this is one of the few perfect things that exists; the time of getting to know everything about each other, developing all your little habits and routines as the bourgeoning pair you areits amazing and I know its like nothing else exists for awhile.

But the other things? They still exist. And believe it or not, there will come a day when you shake out of your love daze (not out of love, necessarily, but out of the daze), look up and realize that youve let the other important parts of your life fall into disrepair.

I’m not saying that it always happens this way. There are actually people, though I’ve never met them, who are able to maintain a life balance when starting a new relationship. I’m definitely not one of them!

Me, I’m actually one of those people who loves being crazy in love. I love it that I’m NOT balanced or logical when I’m wrapped up in someone new. Having said that, I never let it go too long without coming up for air, so to speak. And I know I’m reaching that point when I start feeling a bit out of sorts about the things I’ve let slip away from me.

So whats the answer? How do you allow yourself to surrender to the loveliness of being swept away by a new romance but still keep the ties to your single life strong?

That’s where we have to distinguish between chemistry and compatibility. One has nothing to do with the other. That doesn’t take away from that electricity between the two of you, but chemistry is just hormones. Compatibility on the other hand is how your two lives can live harmoniously.

Finding someone who makes give your butterflies is much easier than finding someone who share your zeal for Extreme Frisbee or skeet shooting. Now I’m not saying that you have to find your twin to have a successful love life; it’s all about compromise. However, the closer someone is to your current way of life, the easier it will be to bridge your coupledom and your single status.

Making a relationship work is never easy. And when you find someone who makes you weak in the knees, will join you in doing the things you love (and vice versa), and who actually likes spending time with your family and friends, all areas of your life will improve! Now that’s worth working on.

About the Author:

This article was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands more helpful dating articles.